Pregnancy During a Pandemic

December 3, 2021

For one of my first articles, I wanted to talk about something important and a huge milestone in my life, my pregnancy, and the pandemic. The last two years have been life-changing for a lot of people in the world, with the reason behind it being that we’re living in the COVID-19 Pandemic. What started as a few cases of a viral respiratory illness has developed into a deadly and terrifying new reality, and unfortunately, there hasn’t been an end in sight. We have all continued with our lives the best we can though, creating a new normal. Part of that new normal was accepting the fact that my pregnancy was going to look and be quite different from the other women in my life, accepting the new experiences I was going to have and the ones that I wouldn’t be able to.

This was the case for a lot of women during the pandemic, a new normal. That new normal could mean going to prenatal appointments alone/partner not being allowed at appointments, social distanced support, mask mandates while in labor, and the potential dangers of contracting the COVID-19 during your pregnancy. This was the case for a lot of women, including myself, during the pandemic. I have been one of the lucky few who have been able to have their spouses with them for prenatal appointments, and it’s made my pregnancy experience a lot easier with that support and comfort. While the pandemic has changed a lot of aspects of my pregnancy, my journey isn’t too different from many other women out there and I’m grateful to get to share this journey with all of you.

Pre-Pregnancy

So, before I talk more about my pregnancy I wanted to take the time to share a little on our journey to getting pregnant and what that looked like for us during the pandemic and not having family around.

My husband and I both came from big families, surrounded by smaller children and helping pitch in while growing up. So it was no surprise that we both wanted to have families of our own and that we wanted to start one together. We took the leap and started trying a month after we got married. I was so excited, I remember talking to family and friends about their pregnancy experiences and I figured as a young, healthy woman that I would get pregnant right away.

That wasn’t the case for us.

Now, I’m not a very patient person, especially when it comes to things that are exciting and I just can’t wait for them. So when 3 months passed and I still wasn’t pregnant, I knew that these things can take time and I was in fact just being impatient. And then another month passed, and then another, and then another, and still negative results. The impatience was still there, and the impatience was followed with disappointment, anger, and let's be honest, quite a bit of self-pity too.

All the women around me got pregnant fairly quickly, and I didn’t have their experiences and advice to lean on for support. I was frustrated that two people who really wanted to be parents were struggling so hard to make it happen. Our pre-pregnancy journey consisted of charting, scheduling, temping, ovulation tests, fertility-friendly diets, prenatal vitamins for the both of us, and many, many negative pregnancy tests. When we finally hit 8 months of TTC (Trying to Conceive), I started reaching out to infertility specialists and I even struggled to find a doctor willing to help us without the aid of my health insurance. Finally, I was able to find a doctor that was willing to work with us and booked an appointment (That wouldn’t take place for another 4 months). We kept on trying, sticking to our methods, trying new methods, and tried not to stress out too much about the fact that we were struggling so much to start our family.

The week before my infertility appointment, I had the craziest and most surreal Sunday morning.

I started my normal morning routine, and even though I knew it was too early to take my test for that cycle, I decided to take one anyway, expecting another negative result. I took the test and continued with my morning routine while my husband was making pancakes in the kitchen just down the hall. I can still remember the emotions I felt after picking up that test and seeing those two little lines appear. I remember my hands shaking, and whispering no freaking way under my breath over and over again. I remember tip-toeing into my kitchen with a grin on my face, and the ear-to-ear smile on my husband's face after he read the test. I remember us giggling for the rest of the morning while eating our pancakes and absolutely in shock that it was finally our turn.

It took us one year to get pregnant.

There are a lot of other crazier infertility stories out there, and we definitely didn’t have the worst of it, but it was one of the biggest obstacles that we have had to face together. My husband truly is my rock and my biggest supporter, and I don’t think I could’ve gotten through this last year without him.

I’m not divulging this information for any kind of sympathy. I want to A) Share more with you as a way of venting and not enduring these experiences alone & B) specifically share this with anyone else going through similar experiences, especially if you’re the type to keep your emotions bottled up and not seek comfort from others.

My First & Second Trimesters ✨

After finding out I was pregnant, I was ecstatic. After a year of struggling and disappointment, It was finally our turn to enjoy this amazing thing.

I spent the first few weeks of my pregnancy of course stressing and wondering if this was going to be a viable pregnancy. A lot of that worry simmered down after my first doctor's appointment at around 6 weeks where my pregnancy was officially confirmed, and it simmered down even more after seeing our baby on the ultrasound and hearing the baby's heartbeat for the first time. It truly was magical, and for a while, I thought it was all just a really good dream.

That’s when reality set in, as well as the morning sickness.

Magical bubble: Popped.

Ever wonder why they call it morning sickness? Well, I’ll keep wondering because I was sick all day and all night, pretty much 24/7. I couldn’t keep down any food or water, everything made me feel nauseous especially with my newly heightened sense of smell. Within my first month of pregnancy, I lost 25 pounds. I was struggling a lot. I was exhausted, in pain, and jealous of anyone that could keep down food. Before I got pregnant, I never threw up. It was a very rare occurrence for it to happen, so it was a pretty big life change to be throwing up non-stop every day for months on end.

This continued until about halfway through my second trimester, and then miraculously it started to ease up a little. I finally started to feel a little like myself again and enjoy those magical moments in my pregnancy. Our first and second ultrasound was among those moments, seeing and hearing our baby for the first time and watching them grow. It felt so surreal, and like one of those moments you just want to soak up forever.

Among those magical moments was sharing the news of the pregnancy with our families, something we waited to share until the second trimester. It was a hard secret to keep, especially when I talk to my mom almost every day and share everything (almost) with her.

To say the least, we don’t live close to any family. We moved to Washington shortly after getting married, and both sides of our family are spread out across the states. I knew that our pregnancy was one thing that I didn’t want to have to share virtually with so much of our lives already taking place over the phone or the internet. It was big news that was meant to be shared in person and paired with tears and hugs. So we took a leap and made the plans, booked the tickets, and traveled to two different sides of the united states to share the news of our new addition to our little family. Both of our families were incredibly happy for us. There was laughter and smiles, happy tears and bear tight hugs, and memories that will last a lifetime.

While I was still having my struggles with my pregnancy, I started to feel a lot more confident and positive in my new normal. I began to not only bond with my baby but my pregnancy body. I’ve gained a lot of appreciation towards my body, amazed at its skill to shape and grow a little human life. I have a new sense of confidence in myself, as a woman and as a person.

I have fallen completely and utterly in love with the little human that I’m growing.

Third Trimester ✨

In my third trimester, I gained a wave of new symptoms and experiences.

I now have a fun thing called heartburn every day, no matter what I eat and drink, and I can confirm that it does indeed feel like a fire-breathing dragon sitting on your chest. I now have to pee every five minutes, especially with an almost 4.5 lb baby, sitting on my bladder. I now look so pregnant that store clerks feel confident enough to ask me when I’m due, which I’m not sure how that one makes me feel. I am nesting 24/7, which is a blessing and a curse. Most of all, I am impatient (again) for our little human to be here already.

One fun experience that we got to have was a baby shower! Our baby shower was a little different from the norm, it took place virtually. We couldn't afford to travel again, and my doctor didn’t feel comfortable with me traveling as well so we decided to try something a bit different. My family all got together in one place, and my husband and I attended virtually through a combination of Zoom and Google Duo. It was very different from any other baby shower I’ve ever attended and had the occasional technical difficulties, but most of all it was fun and exciting, and an experience I am very glad we still got to have.

Final Thoughts

Well, here we are.

The last 2 months.

The home stretch.

And I’ve never been so internally emotional in my entire life.

Pregnancy is tough, and tough is definitely not the only word I would use to describe it. I always thought I would love being pregnant and that it would be the most magical experience in the world, and it took me a while to accept and get used to the fact that that wasn’t the case. Pregnancy is magical and surreal, but that’s not its focal point for me, at least not anymore. Pregnancy is emotional and powerful, it’s draining and pushes your body past its breaking point, its strength and selflessness, it’s pure and ethereal.

I am forever grateful for this experience that I have the privilege of having (and I'm not just saying that), especially with the struggle it took to get here. I think about it each and every day. And even going through the amount of struggle and pain I’ve been dealing with, I’m choosing to focus on the positive – My baby is growing on track and healthy…. At the same time, I’m also counting down the days until my body becomes my own again.

All my love,

Audrei